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Dumb Laws of Florida

May 3, 2011 | Author: | Posted in Humor

One of the most popular searches on the internet is people searching for “dumb laws.” In fact, it has become a popular search for people looking for humor or internet jokes. The fact is that dumb laws are found all over the world. Most are remnants of yesteryear and are so outdated that they no longer make sense in present day society.

In the State of Florida:

-The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.

-One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.

-Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.

-Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.

-Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

-It is illegal to sell your children.

-Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

-A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

-If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

-It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

-Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

-Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

-It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

-When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

-You may not fart in a public place after 6pm on Thursday.

-It is considered an offense to shower naked.

-You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

-Oral sex is illegal.

-You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

-Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

-It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

Florida City Laws:

-Some of the local city laws are quite bizarre as well.

Big Pine Key:

-It is illegal to molest a Key deer.

Broward County:

-Persons may not be “inappropriately attired” who work at hot dog stands.

Cape Coral:

-It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.

-It is illegal to park a pickup truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street.

-Cape Coral City:

-A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport.

Daytona Beach:

-The molestation of trash cans is banned.

-Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.

-Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn’t capable of draining is considered a public nuisance.


-It is illegal for an owner of a store to allow another person to pass out free ducklings in front of the store.

-Destin states that a cat that viciously chases a passersby is a ‘bad cat’.

-If you wish to go swimming in the ocean, get dressed in your hotel room.

-Torpedoes may not be set off in the city.

-It is illegal to lean a bike up against a tree in a cemetery.

-It is illegal to drive over graves in a cemetery.

-You cannot sell ice cream in a cemetery


-Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

-You may not shoot missiles at ostriches.

Key West:

-Chickens are considered a ‘protected species’.


-You cannot use a whistle on a bicycle

Miami Beach:

-Skateboarding is not allowed at any police station.

-Persons face up to thirty days in jail for selling oranges on the sidewalk.

-Termite farms are not allowed within the city.

-No one may bring a pig with them to a theater.


-Neon signs are prohibited.

Palm Bay:

-Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles.


-Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

-It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.

-A woman can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bathtub because of using self beautification utensils.


-You need a permit to operate a burglar alarm.


-Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of “bona fide” theatrical performances.


-If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.

-You may not catch crabs.

Satellite Beach:

-Beer may not be sold between 2 and 7am.

-Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.


-All houses much have white picket fences and fullwidth, two story porches.


-Women may not expose their breasts while performing “topless dancing”.

-Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

-It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

The phenomenon of dumb laws has gone a long way in changing people’s perceptions about law. It also lets us question the source of the law and what instigated their creation. In some cases the laws are very era specific, in other cases, they do not appear to have a reasonable explanation at all. In many situations however, it has led to some of outdated laws to be considered for modification or removal.

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